Life On a Rope
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Wednesday, July 5, 2006
Friday, June 30, 2006
Saturday, June 24, 2006
can anyone help me out here?is or was there ever a song that said "whyd you leave with no goodbyes" cause ive been stuck here wondering about that song
well he left yesterday....with no goodbyes
i was an hour late...hes in orlando now....God only knows when im gonna see him next time...they say he comes in july but i think hes going to chicago....
however it is i know for shure ill see him next december...6 months from now..or so...
but i didnt get to tell him how i feel or anything...
his mom and myne were talking about it.
she said he didnt pick up the phone because he didnt ever want me to hear him or see him cry...although i have cried soooo many times in front of him...he said it wouldve hurt him more to leave if he said goodbye...what he doesnt know is that it killed me that he didnt...now i dont even know if we really are gonna do the whole long-distance shit....
whatever at least i dont have to worry about him and his stay over here anymore because of his motherfucking stepdad(literally) i fucking hate him for making his life miserable for kicking him out and for making him feel hes worth shit because to me hes everything...so whatever im out..
-yams
Sunday, June 18, 2006
hi!
hmm
today sucked
however i talked to kyle
really old friend of mines
well hes not old hes just....a long time no see friend
toodles bitches
Thursday, June 15, 2006
what a nice outfit=) i wish all my friends were on here!=)
bullshit lol anyhoe....i hope i get to see my favorite band someday.
but im not telling who they are..=P
Current mood:  crazy Current music: alicia keys..i like singing..
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
It's so crazy to think that one december could change my life forever. Never has this experience come to grasp in my mind. A feeling, to vague...more like..Love?itself.. I was scared...i still am. because i dont know what will come for us in the future.although we both know we do have one together. lust..the meaning of lust.lust is when your whole life stops....to revolve and center eachother.when affections and feeling become redundant. when you cant eat nor sleep when your with them.when you ONLY think of them..when you have no life bu them!obsessive?i think so.lust?more like it.
love is when you know that for shure the person you love now you will love forever.is when you know they feel the same.is when you know they got you.is when you know life goes on but youll have more than a life to spend with them.is when affections and feeling are saved for later.when that fire doesnt burn out.when i love you cuts it,and makes you feel like diamonds.when just hearing it once in a year,from the person you love, you know that its enough to know they love you.
..i think i rest my case...any opinions?more than glad to hear!
Current mood:  calm Current music: head over feet-alanis morrissete
Thursday, January 12, 2006
ok so...no school for me but....
i have this stupid virus my whole family has and i was the last one to get it...and the symptoms are worse for me...
i saw a roach in my room and i decided to sleep in the couch because i have o.d.d. when it comes to roaches so i couldnt sleep in my bed where it was at
DIEE!!
anyways...eddie didnt say bye to me after school...he wont even say hi anymore!!=e
kinda sad really but ill live]
BOO!!
i got the runs and i got the vomits!!>.<
i hate it so much!!o well...
hey at least like..one person left me a comment yesterday..on me-espacio
=e
Current mood:  crappy
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
sucks to be you
ha...they rock a bit.....
wow..
yay!!!im happy...
sooo happy...
ok...now im going...
im leaving...
im gone..
wait..
i need my deathcab cd..
now im gone...
Saturday, December 31, 2005
alright alright....
well all i gots to say...im in jacks[off]onville and im just here...sitting alone...wondering when the hell its ALL gonna end...ok anyways..on the way over here i was thinkin of a few goodbyes i might have rehearsed before leaving...so i took out my thoughts and laid them flat on my laptop counter...only to find we ended up in disney that day..it was quite amusing actually...and well ive been so0o0 pensative lately.about alot of things..about how the hell i fell in this and about how much of a failure i have always aborreced to be and eventually became...i look at myself and i laugh...out of pity..because i have no where to go..and to get noticed well..its onl y for 1 lucky thing....something thats constant..but then again "rebellion only digs a deeper hole"-adrian (my dear and beloved BIG bro.)i cant be a psychologist...my hopes of ever creating a band are dwindled thoughts far off to my dads rejection of those plans, and i cant be a painter/artist because i failed art many times..cant be an astronomer...why?cuz everything is only a temporary thing...then when it comes to photography..i feel like its a passion..soon waiting to be burned out...what the hell...i cant go to college far away from my dad...cuz my grades already dropped me down..and to top it off....i fell in love....and i fell hard...didnt want to...i was avoiding it all i could..but it slipped..and im stuck here....i know when i do see him i know ill go crazy...distance and time wont make us drift apart but...we'll get closer...hes having my babies by the way...the difference ive learned of falling in love and falling in lust is that...lust is like that toy you have and always anticipated for then when you got it it easily bored you...and love......love is that thing you felt..that thing that made you shake everytime you saw them..that thing that you cant ignore..when two people want to spend their lives with them...when two people will do anything for eachother...nothings unconditional..when everytime they meet after a while it was like they never left....where time stands still...where nothing is impossible..where their affection will never fade...
"and as she cried he lightly kissed her tears away,
deniying for a second what was for years gone astray,
he said in a light voice'will you want to see me again?'
while she wept replying 'its all i would ever think about.'
silence dims
in the darkness which terrified him within
and she covered him, in tears she meant for him
letting the lights dim
saying'i love you'
then lke this they began
can she understand
what he endured was something
she longed for
and so...they left..with no goodbyes.."
ok im off
Current mood:  blah
Monday, December 26, 2005
Saturday, December 10, 2005
this entire week....ive learned what i wouldve learned in a year...filled with experiences and odd details that make me wonder....what life is really about...
as most of you may not know me but now you will
im not christian
im not religious\
but i have a growing relationship with god everyday and im going to do everything i can to make it stay that way. i finally know that the only true way of acquiring wisdom is by fearing the lord...
and by saying that i mean
having respect for him
because he can take what you love most in a blink of an eye
if, ofcourse, this thing is the object not allowing you to get close to him...
i can now say..
that i do..
fear him
and i want to do everything i can to live my life the way he wants me to
so everyone
be prepared to see the biggest change in me
i still love you all
but i have a growing faith in which i will be more than happy to share with any of you...
if,indeed, you really want to know...about things you never knew\
(i.e. i sing at my youth group, and have been saved since last march)
yes so
this yami you will know better
if your interested
love,
yami
Current mood:  contemplative
Saturday, December 3, 2005
well you see, life isnt the way u would expect..i realize the main thing that kept me and ronald so "differenced" was music. i realized that just now. and i want to thank most of you for...not being idiots as you call thems and say that yes, it sucks that me and ronnie broke up but hey, i gained friends and i gained experience which i thank ronnie for. i also want to say hes sucha great person and theres a thing or two ive learned about this relationship and its made me stronger(yes deb..ill be ure "rebound" woman lol) and i just say...two great people dont always make a great relationship.the last blog i put i had put alooot more but het it was a "quick update" and i was soon dissapointed when i foundout all i had typed went to waste...well ive figured that even though this is a desparing time for me, im living through it better than i ever thoughti could and i want to thank all of yous for being there..
=P
not really...just for meeting me and k.i.t.
love ya all
-yami
p.s. word of advice, the catch in love is that wen you love a person you also haveto acquire the courageto let them love you back =)
Current mood: calm
as you all may know, me and ron have split up. well thing is it was mutual. i still think hes a great person and everthing.i hope this doesnt affect anything that you may think about me since i just met you all and most through him. i understand if none of you want to talk to me because of this but i would be more than happy if all did want to, just because...i think your all kewl kids(<<lol)but in retrospect, what i have learned is that the hardest factin life is when you love someone you have to have the courage to let them love you back...something i definately learned...the hard way...and just to say there can be two really great people in a relationship but it doesnt always equal A great relationship. i guess thats what happened..and someday...(60 days from now) i may be "friends" with him again but for now...for our own good.. i cant really see him nor talk to him.not because hes a bad person but just because i wont want to "pick at the scab."
well kiddies
goodday to ya
-yami
Monday, November 28, 2005
i have no idea how to put it together but im sure with your help i could figure it out...
So you sing of lost encounters
of that time with highlighted calendars
and you read yourself to sleep
with all the details falling deep
when you numb those words
with your idealistic prose
justlook back and pose
for those entailing thoughts
someday you'll know those clocks wont stop
just hear them sometime you'll drop
when you failed to mention
those thoughts that caught my attention
i swiftly covered the detrimental sentiment
you left
like an argument engraved with thoughts of your own satisfaction.
i left with a trace
of no regret
as i watched you walk away with little threat
unknowing of what to expect
washing all my tears in reluctance
to your presence
and i cry openly, not oftenly, unexpectedly
ok so i am looking for people i can just "be" with musically as in....well people who can write songs with me....not a band...not yet but just people...ok
thank you =)
Current mood:  creative
Friday, November 25, 2005
ok....IM THE FIRST TO WRITE ABOUT THIS!!!! YAY!!!
ok anyway
so look...i go to kristis and well we wait for these people (by that i mean ronnie, eddie, raul, and jarek)to come and so once they came we talked for a bit..then hugo came and we started to sing and just talk and eat chips....watever.. then jesus needed a ride so i decide to call my peoples and tell them i needed one more hour since it was the first time they let me hang out with friends so i decid i wanted to go with them all(i didnt realize they were all guys and no gurls were going, just like the old days=P) and like 5 blocks away from kristis house, they call us and say to head back because jesus had alredy had a ride...and while listening to blasting blink 182, ronnie does the sharpest and fastest u-turn as we hear something scratch the road..it was his tire and we thought the axel was bad but it was really the tire.. so we all check it out and it looked pretty bad so we thought we lost hope because we couldnt really find a spare tire around so we decide to push it(well the guys actually-cuz i had to piss badly)and about two blocks from kristis they find a tire..which was hiddeen...then i had to walk back because it was late...and I had to walk with JAREK!!EEK!!that man treats me like an ass...anyway,,the whole time there(just to piss him off) i start to do everything i can to piss him off just cuz hes a dork and i succeeded!!HAHAHAHA!!anyways...we were at the house like 2 minutes before my people came to pick me up....but hey atleast i got to see ronald which i have not seen in AGES!!!haha no actually a few hours ago...but anyway..i felt kinda bad but i was kinda happy at the same time,..just cuz i hung out a bit i guess...o well
laters
-the ultimate yamerz
Current mood:  blank
thanksgiving was as un-cultured as my grandparents.......
but looking back on everything, i pretty much got over sumthin i needed to get over...so that i could have the chAnce to tell him i was busy when he called.listening to jodi shaw..gave me ::EMPOWERMENT::look here
ice on the road
blood on the rale
a myth in the making
newspaper sale
another on falling
and no one is calling our names
i know it dont make it right
but once there was so much light
and he was the center of it all
hard to believe a mothers dreaM
the most beautiful thing you've ever seen
thats why we stay in cabrini-green
boys on the tarmak
playing their ball
writing their fates up on a wall
and i blanked out...i forgot those damn lyrics....well anyway,,no one really has sent me anything on myspace so im thinkin i dont really need it..im probably going to cancel it.o well
well my ritual from now on is going to be:
+locking myself in my room
+putting the radio on high blast
+singing to cursive
+inhaling pixie stix(not really inhale i just go through 2 each minute,,,)
+and wishing id never said anything
ok...im out,,(turkey was stupid and dry...didnt even have STUFFING!!!)
Current mood:  high
Thursday, November 24, 2005
hello and welcome
well you see, i checked out jodi shaw...pretty awesome....makes me feel..."empowered" or whatever you call it cuz now i know i wouldnt be the only one making a fool of myself creating music.shes pretty awesome...shes like a coner oberst in a female version.oh and my birthday,,,totally not what i had figured....well i got the two most desirable things...a camera(4.0 megapixels)and a frikin ipod!and then i felt better when ronnie didnt give me anything for my birthday because what i gave him wasnt exactly what i had expected to give him g2g
Sunday, November 20, 2005
well...............since i have the fortune of being a white chick with overprotective parents, i have decided to play hookie for a bit....in this im saying sneaking out of my house...i mean there is NO possible way i could get caught, no way. my stepmoms going to nicaragua and my dad stays at work till late and i dont want to be alone for my birthday....no this birthday is gonna be different from the rest.....watch.......even if i get in trouble for it then damnit let it be but i WILL NOT PASS MY 15TH BIRTHDAY HOME ALONE!!!!!then another factor is coffe house, my grandparents and my mother....if my grandparents think im gonna be with my mother and my mother thinks im gonna be with them...i hope they stay ignored to eachother like it has been for like 10 years or so of my life and coffe house.....dont know if im gonna make it....cuz i sucked....and most people id wanna hang out with probably did make it......odds are against me anyway....and i dont even know who's gonna wish me happy birthday cuz no one really knows me......and by saying this....ive seen peoples birthdays around me be pretty fun but i dont want to stay home alone.....ive never had a birthday party in my life and every time i did i would always be the reject who no one wanted to come to my party....always...and then i would get my hopes high when the truth was....no one wanted to go....so there....all ive had were family gatherings who turned out lame cuz they would all start fighting....my whole family...so consider my mothers birthday party (and me getting drunk on a virgin pinya colada) and my fathers macdonalds along with ronalds wonderful adventure with his brothers chillis restaurant all of this is my ideal way of celebration for birthdays....but ive never had any...didnt care before and i wonder why i do now...strange way to look at it really...i just dont want to be home alone for my birthday=(
Current mood: lonely
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